Personal - Parenting a Difficult Child

Personal - Parenting a Difficult Child

Parenting is the hardest job that most people will ever have; it tests your endurance, patience, and integrity-yet somehow we thought that it was smart to not give anyone a manual or any kind of real support. We are hoping to change this so we will be posting more concerning parenting and hopefully giving you support and useful advise. 

One of the unfortunate aspects to having children is that you can't pick your kid and some children are significantly more difficult to parent than others. The scale of difficulty is vast and feeling like you need support or guidance as a parent is always just, even if your child is an angel. We want to focus on the really difficult children, but the same advice can apply to all parents. 

We have all been around that kid, who has a reputation like they have already destroyed the world. Other parents don't want that kid over at their house, they don't want their kid to be friends with them, and parents whisper among each other. The child might be obnoxious, physically harmful, extremely high energy, or just mean.

There is a horrible stigma attached to these children and their parents that is incredibly harmful. Children who are often out of control tend to have medical difficulties and it needs to be understand that their parents should not be expected to parent the child on their own. It takes an army of people and unconditional support to help such a child so we must not blame the parents and expect them to "deal with it" on their own. Yes there are "bad parents" who don't spend time with their kids, but that is the exception. 

Human's have learned a lot in recent years on how the brain works and we continue to be amazed at how different we are and how much our personality is effected by our health/genetics and how much our actions are effected by our personality. The same parent can have 2 kids; one is an angel and one a demon, this proves that it's not the parent so you should never treat a parent badly just because their kid is difficult. It is your first priority to protect your child, but you must also be kind and understanding of what that parent is going through. They need your love and support, they want to just be treated normal and included. It also sets a bad example for the child to hear others say bad things about them and isolate them. 

Next time you are at a soccer game and you see that parent sitting by themselves please walk up and say hi. Ask them how they are doing, where they live, what they like to do (now and before kids). Genuinely getting to know someone makes them feel loved and supported, and you can't imagine how much of a positive impact that 20 minutes can have on that person's day. Also, normalize reaching out for help; talk about seeing psychiatrists and guidance counselors. 

Love you and have an amazing day!  

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